What is it about us that stops us from talking more about what we are good at? What makes it sooo much easier to say that we are bad at something?
I think it is a cultural approach as much as it is about fear of what others might think. The ‘brash’ Americans tend to talk a lot more about their strengths and why they are good at certain things.
The British do this a lot less as it’s not seen as a positive to talk about yourself and your accomplishments. Bragging or boasting is a no-no. Self-deprecation is a national trait that has been with us for generations. It is a funny one though, as it is actually not done because of low self-esteem or self-worth, it is merely used to downplay your achievements. It is seen as a sign of social success and a way to hide superiority and secure status. It takes being a natural, self-confident person to successfully be self-depreciating, not an insecure person to pity.
In Sweden on the other hand, we have an unofficial law called ‘Jantelagen’. The basis of this is ‘You are not better than anyone else’. If you have achieved success, do not talk about it or show off with expensive cars, boats or jewellery. We learn to put society ahead of the individual, not to boast about individual accomplishments and not to be jealous of others. Many Swedes would never discuss finances with strangers and would rather talk about sex. There is another saying ‘Lika barn leka bäst’ which means ‘the same kind of children play the best together’. Jante lagen does not apply here if people are with their equally wealthy friends, it’s ok to talk about money. That’s not showing off, that’s just talking about your latest purchase.
The feelings around this vary. I think it comes down to what your intentions are with sharing your achievements. Is it to boast and show off or is it to prove you are good at what you do? It’s not about money in this context, it is more about being successful at your job or being a contributor to society through volunteering or helping others. When is it OK to share those successes?
Anytime I say. Spread the good news! If I can do it, you can. Be proud of your achievements and get recognition. It is important to be kind to ourselves and others. Let others know that you notice them and what they do. We all need it.
On that note, here are some testimonials from our courses:
‘I found the course incredibly useful and helped me expand my knowledge on how to support those in need and how to manage a situation.The course leaders, Jenni and Åse were fantastic and ensured that we understood the course content and the aim of the training. We were given the opportunity to share our own experiences and to discuss areas that we felt we needed more information on. Personally i think the course is invaluable and should be recommended across all levels of the work place and from a personal space too’
‘Jenni and Asa were fabulous I loved the interactive parts of the course and would be interested in training to become a trainer myself! The knowledge and tools were excellent and Jenni made things really easy to understand and was practical.’
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