Our life of contrasts...

The cold and the sun. Two seemingly contrasting states and yet, on a day like today, they work in perfect harmony. Just got back from a walk to the gym in the crisp cold air with the warm sun on my back and it was really glorious. It made me think about how many of life's contrasts work really well together - like that salty and sweet popcorn!

I'm often told that my husband and I are 'complete opposites' and I happen to agree in terms of personality, thinking and social style but our relationship works so well because we share the same values and purpose. That common ground. Often opposite demands, needs, and expectations can be managed really well if they are approached with the right attitude and mindset.

I was reading the post on linkedin from @Mind this morning for #menshealthmonth and thought about how so many men face this contrasting challenge in life. They have societal expectations to be strong and capable and yet they are also encouraged to show vulnerability and ask for help.

As our mental health conversations progress and more and more of us are taking up the call to educate, inform, promote, and support - it's good to know that these contrasts are being spoken about. Working together we can normalise these expectations and behaviours in the same way that sweet and sour sauce works together and is, well - delicious!

Glad to be part of the conversation.

Addiction: a complex issue affecting many.

Addiction is a complicated issue that is often intertwined with low self-esteem, alcoholism, drugs and mental ill health. Understanding the complex relationships is crucial to addressing and combating addiction effectively.

Definiton of addiction: a compulsive and harmful engagement with a substance or behaviour that often leads to negative consequences. It's not limited to substances like drugs or alcohol; it can involve behaviours like gambling, gaming or over/undereating.

Addiction can significantly destroy an individual's self-esteem, creating a vicious cycle that increases mental health challenges and sometimes results in physical diseases.

One important aspect of addiction's impact is its strain on self-esteem. Low self-esteem can predispose individuals to addiction and addiction can, in turn, further lower self-esteem.

Individuals with low self-esteem may turn to addictive substances or behaviours as a means of coping with their feelings of not being good enough, seeking temporary relief or escape. The relief provided by substances or behaviours would offer a fleeting illusion of confidence, reinforcing the addiction. A vicious circle has started.

Over time, however, addiction takes a toll on self-esteem. As it leads to negative consequences like strained relationships, financial problems or job loss, individuals often internalise these experiences, leading to a further decline in self-worth. The cycle perpetuates itself, as diminished self-esteem can make it even harder for individuals to break free from addiction. This highlights the importance of addressing self-esteem issues as part of addiction treatment.

Alcoholism is a specific category of addiction and is characterised by the compulsive and uncontrolled consumption of alcohol. It can have dire consequences for physical health, mental health and overall well-being. While it may start as a social or recreational activity, it can quickly spiral into a disease that impacts nearly every facet of a person's life.

Alcoholism is often regarded as a disease because it has both genetic and environmental components that contribute to its development. Some individuals have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism, meaning they are more likely to become addicted if they consume alcohol. The environment in which one is raised, their early experiences with alcohol and their coping mechanisms also play crucial roles.

Mental health is closely linked to addiction and alcoholism. Many individuals struggling with addiction have underlying mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety or trauma. Many attempt to self-medicate or numb their emotional pain so they turn to substances like alcohol. While alcohol may provide temporary relief, it ultimately exacerbates mental health problems. Alcohol is a depressant which can intensify feelings of sadness and hopelessness, leading to a vicious cycle that worsens both addiction and mental health.

Feelings of shame and guilt often increases with addiction which further erodes an individual's mental health. Addressing the mental health component is essential to breaking this cycle. Good addiction rehab centres recognise the necessity of providing therapy and support for co-occurring mental health conditions.

The connection between addiction and physical disease is another critical aspect to consider. Substance abuse can lead to a wide range of physical health problems, from liver disease to heart issues and beyond. These diseases most likely affects the individual's overall well-being, making it even more challenging to break free from addiction. The physical toll of addiction serves as a stark reminder of the disease aspect of substance abuse.

These elements are closely connected, creating a web of challenges for individuals struggling with addiction. To effectively combat addiction, it is vital to address these interconnected issues holistically, recognising that addiction is not just a matter of willpower but a complex challenge that requires a varied solution.

Understanding the complex nature of addiction is the first step in this journey towards recovery and a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Balancing our children's mental and physical health

Mental ill health can show up early in life. There will be reasons that are out of our control, however, there is also a lot we can do to help.

The sooner we understand what kind of support is needed and available, the better chances our children have for a healthy and good life.

In today's fast-paced world, the well-being of our children should be at the forefront of our concerns. As parents, caregivers, and educators, we strive to provide them with the best opportunities for growth and development.

The link between mental and physical health

Mental and physical health are unavoidably linked and together, they form the basis of a child's overall well-being. When we talk about mental health, we're referring to mental ill health as well as emotional resilience, coping skills, and a positive self-image. Likewise, physical health is more than just physical fitness; it includes nutrition, sleep and general wellness.

For children, maintaining a balance between these two parts is crucial. Physical health supports mental well-being, as regular exercise and a balanced diet can improve mood and cognitive functioning. At the same time, mental health supports physical health by developing healthy habits, reducing stress and strengthening the immune system.

Screen time and its impact

The digital era has launched a variety of screens into our children's lives. While screens offer educational and recreational opportunities, excessive screen time can have a detrimental effect. It can contribute to physical health issues such as obesity, neck and back problems as well as disrupted sleep patterns. It can also affect social development and hinder the development of crucial life skills.

Parents must play a central role in managing screen time. There is no easy way around this. Setting boundaries and encouraging children to engage in age-appropriate, educational content can help strike a balance. Additionally, being actively involved in your children's screen time activities creates a sense of connection and provides opportunities for discussion and guidance. Children like it when parents know what they play and watch.

The power of being present

Parental presence is not just about being there physically; it's about emotional availability and engagement. Attachment theory* explains that a secure emotional bond between children and caregivers is fundamental for healthy development throughout life. These bonds ensure that a child feels safe to explore the world, form relationships, and develop a strong sense of self.

When parents are present both physically and emotionally, a child will feel secure in expressing their feelings, thoughts and concerns. This emotional connection is a protective factor and helps children cope with stress and adversity and increases their self-esteem and resilience.

Dealing with rejection and building resilience

Rejection is a part of life that is hard to avoid, even in childhood. It can come in many forms – not being picked for a team, difficulty making friends or facing academic challenges. How children handle rejection profoundly impacts their mental health and social skills.

Parents can help children deal with rejection by validating their feelings, teaching coping strategies and encouraging perseverance. A strong attachment to the parent or caregiver provides a secure foundation for children to draw strength and resilience from when facing difficult situations.

Developing social skills and connection

Social skills are essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Children need to learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts and empathise with others. These skills are best developed through real-world interactions and connections.

Parents can teach social skills by ensuring their children engage with friends or family, both in structured and unstructured settings. Encourage playdates, group activities and open-ended conversations about friendships and emotions. Teach the value of kindness, empathy and how to listen.

The importance of real-life meetings

In our digitally connected world, genuine, face-to-face connections are more critical than ever. While online interactions have their place, they cannot fully replace the importance of in-person connections.

Parents should prioritise family time and ensure they have meaningful conversations. Quality over quantity is key. Engage in activities that promote bonding, such as family meals, outings and shared hobbies. These moments not only strengthen the parent-child bond but also healthy interpersonal relationships.

The development of children's mental and physical health depends on a balance of various interconnected factors. Screen time, parental presence, attachment, rejection, social skills and meaningful connections all play integral roles in shaping a child's well-being. As parents, our aim should be to create an environment that nurtures not only their bodies but also their hearts and minds. By doing so, we equip them with the tools they need to navigate life's challenges and create connections that will enhance their lives.

This takes effort and time, however, when our children leave the nest and fly away, confident and able to cope with life’s ups and downs, pat yourself on the back!

We never stop being their parents and for that, I am forever grateful.

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory

Monday thoughts: Embracing mental health awareness, confronting fears and being vulnerable

Mondays often symbolise new beginnings and fresh starts, making it an opportunity to reflect on important aspects of our lives. Today, I want to look into the realm of mental health awareness, fears and vulnerability.

In a world that frequently encourages us to wear masks of strength and invincibility, it is crucial to acknowledge and prioritise our mental well-being. Mental health awareness demands compassion, understanding and open dialogue. By normalising conversations surrounding mental health, we can break the stigma associated with it, creating a supportive environment for those who are struggling.

Addressing fears is an integral part of our personal growth. We all have fears that can sometimes paralyse us, preventing us from reaching our full potential. The ‘what’ if someone sees the real me and doesn’t want to know me anymore?

By acknowledging and facing our fears head-on, we can transform them into catalysts for positive change. It is important to remember that fear is a natural part of being human and it is through embracing it that we can find courage and strength. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but in reality, it is a testament to our authenticity and self awareness. It takes immense strength to let down our guard and expose our true selves. By embracing vulnerability, we open ourselves up to closer connections, empathy and growth. Sharing our struggles and triumphs not only nurtures our own mental well-being but also encourages others to do the same.

On this Monday, let's make a commitment to prioritise mental health awareness, confront our fears and embrace vulnerability. Reach out to loved ones, engage in self-reflection and practice self-care.

Let us create a world where mental health is valued and where individuals are empowered to be their authentic selves, free from judgment and shame.

Remember, our collective well-being begins with each one of us. Together, we can build a society that cherishes mental health, compassion and the celebration of vulnerability.

It’s a scary place to go to but with the support of our loved ones, it is possible. It is also vital that our workplaces follow suit.

To enable and create a more inclusive, empathic and supporting workplace, training is needed.

We are here to help.

The photo is from my front garden. Plants make me happy.

Do I dare to talk about my mental health at work?

How do we dare to be open and accepting of mental health issues? What does it take to feel comfortable enough to talk with someone at work?

The fear of being judged is very real. The ‘what if’ can often show it self. Am I being looked at differently or treated differently? Do they trust me to do my job properly? Do they think I will be signed off work often?

This is all part of the change of the work and company culture within an organisation. When acceptance starts at the top, the likelihood of acceptance further down is more likely.

So, how can this be done? What does your workplace do at the moment?

According to Mind, if you do decide to tell your employer, think about:

• How and when to do it. It can be helpful to have a note from your doctor to help explain your situation.

• How much information you want to give. You don’t have to go into personal details, just focus on how your mental health problem impacts on your job.

• Whom to share it with. For example, the human resources (HR) department may know your diagnosis, but they don't have to tell your supervisor or colleagues.

There are many people working towards enabling disclosure and openness the same way we talk about other illnesses or disabilities.

How would be to have an open discussion about all disabilities and have an understanding and empathy as the norm? We hope this is the case within many organisations. If not, what is going on?

What do they need to enable this supporting and open culture?

This is what MRT Consultants does. We help companies support their staff to enable an open work culture for acceptance of differences and disabilities. Check out what we offer on:

https://mrtconsultants.co.uk/topics

Why should companies invest in mental health awareness training?

Mental health awareness training is crucial for companies and their staff for several reasons.

Firstly, promoting mental health awareness creates a supportive and inclusive work environment, fostering employee well-being and productivity. By understanding common mental health challenges such as stress, anxiety and depression, staff members can recognise and empathise with their colleagues' struggles, which in turn reduces stigma and encourages open communication.

Secondly, mental health issues can significantly impact job performance (presentism) and absenteeism. By providing training on recognising the signs of mental health concerns, companies can offer support and resources sooner to prevent these issues from escalating. This proactive approach can minimise the negative effects on productivity and team morale, ultimately benefitting the overall organisational performance.

Mental health awareness training equips employees with coping strategies and self-care techniques. By promoting self-awareness and resilience, companies empower their staff to manage stress and maintain optimal well-being, leading to increased job satisfaction and retention. It’s a win-win situation.

Ultimately, mental health awareness training demonstrates a commitment to the holistic well-being of employees. It sends a powerful message that mental health matters and that the company values its staff's welfare, fostering a culture of compassion and understanding. This according to research, is something many employees value more than ever.

We are here to help. Please contact ase@mrtconsultants.co.uk for a chat.

Family, connection and food

We talk a lot about connection and the importance of feeling part of a shared space – and today, I wanted to talk about meal times.

We live in a world of instant gratification, of constant distraction and busyness.  So what happens in your home around meal times?  Are there shared spaces and connections made whilst eating a meal – or is meal time seen as a time to be tolerated and endured to simpy get through?

Meal times present and opportunity for you and your family!

Numerous studies have been done that show how sharing meals is integral to how your family functions and that it can aid closer relationships and build social and emotional skills for you and your child (ren).

Some positives that are encouraged when you sit down at eat together as a family include:

·       Promoting a safe, secure space for your children that enourages attachment

·       An opportunity for you to role model good behaviour and eating habits and pass these onto your child (ren)

·       A great space to practice social interaction, chatting and conversation and in particular, that all impoartant skill of how to listen to each other in a supportive way

·       Conflict resolution, patience and tolerance will also be needed at meal times and give your child (ren) a change to learn how to adjust, adapt and compromise

·       A huge positive for everyone is that eating together and bonding over food reduces stress levels and releases the feel good chemicals such as dopamine and endorphins.

If you don’t normally eat together, try to implement times when you do eat together as a family.  Start small with breakfast or lunch and build up to eating together as a family whenever possible.    Remember it takes 21 days to form a new habit and 90 days for it to become a regular part of your lifestyle, so stick with a new ‘regime’ and build it up slowly into a habit and then a lifestyle.  (the 21:90 rule!)

If you have teens (or pre-teens) give them ample warning about when dinner is.  Set a time and stick to it.  Institute a ‘rule’ that anytime after (say 5pm) if they are going onto an online game or race or activity that they can’t leave, they need to check with you first if they’ll be able to do this before dinner.  Dinner together needs to be seen as a priority for your family and one that you all participate in.

Make it fun – allow kids to have a say in the menu; to cook some of the meal themselves; mix it up a bit at times (have breakfast for dinner one day!) and swap seats.  Use mealtime to talk about your day e.g. ‘what is your highlight of your day’ and then ‘what is one question you didn’t get answered today’ and ‘tell us something new that happened today or tell us a joke’.  If you run out of ideas, learn a new word from the dictionary every day or put ideas into a hat and pull out a series of questions that you’ve gathered from the internet! Teach those social skills!

Installing the habit of eating and forming connections over food is an essential component of wellbeing and you can start this today!

Enjoy!

Written by Jenni Cole

Mental health and the construction industry

The construction industry is known for its high-pressure work environment and physically demanding nature. Workers are exposed to several factors that could impact their mental health. Long, irregular working hours, job insecurity, financial pressures and social isolation to name a few. Unfortunately, the construction industry in the UK has seen an alarming increase in suicide rates and mental health problems in recent years. In the news today new statistics came out saying that the suicide rates have more than doubled in the last two years.

The higher rates of suicide can be attributed to various factors as stated above, and they can effect all workers as well as the assumption that it’s a mans world and the need to be tough is an image that can isolate those in need.  White collar workers tend to have better mental health support whereas within other industries including construction, mental health awareness training is lacking. Additionally, the nature of the work itself can lead to injuries and chronic pain, which can increase the risk of depression and anxiety.

Where is the support and who is responsible for people working in the construction industry?

The construction industry is also known for a culture of silence and stigma around mental health problems. Workers are often reluctant to speak out about their mental health concerns due to fear of judgment and repercussions. The lack of awareness and education about mental health issues can contribute to the problem which is another reason help and support is needed.

There are companies out there that are taking positive action, and reap the benefits of a positive mental health approach. 

It is crucial that the construction industry takes proactive steps to address the mental health issues faced by its workers. By providing access to mental health resources and support programmes, the employers show their care and support for their employees. These resources should be confidential and easily accessible to encourage workers to seek help when they need it. Training programmes should also be provided to increase awareness and education about mental health issues in the industry.

The construction industry has a responsibility to address the mental health problems faced by its workers. By providing support and resources to workers, the industry can help to reduce suicide rates and promote better mental health outcomes for its employees.

We are here to help, so please contact ase@mrtconsultants.co.uk for more information. We are happy to have a no obligation chat to see what the needs are within your organisation.

Here is a testimonial from a recent workshop with a property developing company and their staff:

‘Just wanted to say thank you so much for these last 2 workshops. They have been so fun, informative and interactive for the whole team. I really feel that my colleagues are more open and feel able to speak up about mental health. This training is invaluable, and we appreciate you both so much for taking the time to deliver this training for us. The team have said that the workshops contain just the right mixture of information and activities and have really enjoyed the sessions.’

The connection between self-esteem and mental ill health.

Self-esteem is a critical part of our mental health as it is the foundation of how we see ourselves and have confidence in our abilities. It is the value we place on ourselves, our beliefs about our capabilities and our ability to meet challenges.

High self-esteem is linked to good mental health and a sense of well-being, while low self-esteem can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders. It may also get in the way of relationships both at work and privately.

A person with high self-esteem is more confident, self-assured, and has a positive outlook on life. They tend to be better equipped to handle stress, setbacks and challenges because they believe in their ability to overcome obstacles. On the other hand, individuals with low self-esteem often struggle with negative self-talk, self-doubt, and feelings of worthlessness which can lead to a range of mental health problems.

One of the biggest impacts of low self-esteem on mental health is depression. When we have a negative view of ourselves, we are more likely to experience feelings of hopelessness, sadness and despair. This can lead to a vicious cycle, where our low self-esteem makes us more vulnerable to depression which in turn, further wears down our self-esteem.

Anxiety is also a big part of low self-esteem. When we have low self-esteem, we may constantly worry about what others think of us or fear rejection. This can lead to feelings of anxiety and even panic attacks.

Addiction and low self-esteem are also connected. When we don't feel good about ourselves, we may turn to drugs, alcohol or other substances to cope with our negative feelings. This can lead to a range of addiction problems, including substance abuse, gambling addiction and compulsive overeating.

Paying attention to our own and others’ behaviour and getting help sooner rather than later is vital as early intervention is key to recovery and prevention of further decline.

In conclusion, self-esteem is a vital component of mental health, and low self-esteem can have a range of negative impacts on our mental well-being. It is important to cultivate a positive self-image and confidence in our abilities, as this can help us better cope with stress, setbacks and challenges in life.

If you are struggling with low self-esteem, it is important to seek support from a mental health professional who can help you develop strategies to improve your self-esteem and mental health.

Take care!

Living life and planning death.

A bit of a serious headline I know, but something that would be good for us all to consider.

As a woman in her fifties, I have come a long way in my life. If I continue to be healthy I hope to have at least another 30 years on this earth. Who knows what is around the corner though?

Too many people I’ve known have died far too early and I can, unfortunately, name at least 10 men and women who have left their partners, parents, children and numerous friends behind.

Now I feel almost numb when I hear of someone else who has died. It’s not that I don’t feel sad and upset about it but it just becomes a ‘here we go again, who’s next?’

What’s the point of writing about this?

It has made me think about my own life and what I have in place.

Many people avoid talking about death and their wishes. It’s like if I talk about it, it will happen.

For me, it’s important to talk and ensure my family is ok and that they know what to do if the unthinkable happens. I won’t be here, so in many ways, what happens doesn’t really matter too much to me. However, I know as a grieving person it helps to know what to do as far as funerals, inheritance and personal wishes goes. My affairs need to be in place more for the sake of my loved ones than for me.

I have friends who’ve lost their partners or parents and had no idea about the finances or passwords to get into their computers, where the will was or if there even was one.

The stress this caused on top of grieving for their loved ones was and is unnecessary.

Also, how death is prepared for also affects the loved ones in their grief. I know of children whose parents died without leaving them a note or message and that made dealing with their death even harder.

Of course, not everyone gets to say good bye. Accidents and sudden deaths happen all the time.

So, let’s be transparent and prepared for what life might throw at us. Saying or writing to our loved ones about how we feel will never be wasted. Leaving instructions on where to find insurances, the will, passwords and other documents should be done sooner rather than later.

It sounds extreme even to me writing this but I know the distress and disbelief that can happen if we are not prepared.

I intend to live life to the fullest, be grateful that I get to be older and appreciate my body for enabling me to do the things I do.

I hope that in the light of this blog, it gives you pause for thought and perhaps some changes in your life too!

Blowing your own trumpet

What is it about us that stops us from talking more about what we are good at? What makes it sooo much easier to say that we are bad at something?

I think it is a cultural approach as much as it is about fear of what others might think. The ‘brash’ Americans tend to talk a lot more about their strengths and why they are good at certain things.

The British do this a lot less as it’s not seen as a positive to talk about yourself and your accomplishments. Bragging or boasting is a no-no. Self-deprecation is a national trait that has been with us for generations. It is a funny one though, as it is actually not done because of low self-esteem or self-worth, it is merely used to downplay your achievements. It is seen as a sign of social success and a way to hide superiority and secure status. It takes being a natural, self-confident person to successfully be self-depreciating, not an insecure person to pity.

In Sweden on the other hand, we have an unofficial law called ‘Jantelagen’. The basis of this is ‘You are not better than anyone else’. If you have achieved success, do not talk about it or show off with expensive cars, boats or jewellery. We learn to put society ahead of the individual, not to boast about individual accomplishments and not to be jealous of others. Many Swedes would never discuss finances with strangers and would rather talk about sex. There is another saying ‘Lika barn leka bäst’ which means ‘the same kind of children play the best together’. Jante lagen does not apply here if people are with their equally wealthy friends, it’s ok to talk about money. That’s not showing off, that’s just talking about your latest purchase.

The feelings around this vary. I think it comes down to what your intentions are with sharing your achievements. Is it to boast and show off or is it to prove you are good at what you do? It’s not about money in this context, it is more about being successful at your job or being a contributor to society through volunteering or helping others. When is it OK to share those successes?

Anytime I say. Spread the good news! If I can do it, you can. Be proud of your achievements and get recognition. It is important to be kind to ourselves and others. Let others know that you notice them and what they do. We all need it.

On that note, here are some testimonials from our courses:

‘I found the course incredibly useful and helped me expand my knowledge on how to support those in need and how to manage a situation.The course leaders, Jenni and Åse were fantastic and ensured that we understood the course content and the aim of the training. We were given the opportunity to share our own experiences and to discuss areas that we felt we needed more information on. Personally i think the course is invaluable and should be recommended across all levels of the work place and from a personal space too’

‘Jenni and Asa were fabulous I loved the interactive parts of the course and would be interested in training to become a trainer myself! The knowledge and tools were excellent and Jenni made things really easy to understand and was practical.’

Join our mental health awareness Champion MHFA training.

Next dates:

Wednesday 22nd Feb at Hartsfield Manor in Betchworth. 9.30am - 4.30pm

Online:

Wednesday 1st & Friday 2nd March 9.30am - 12.30pm both days.

Please go to: https://mrtconsultants.co.uk/mental-health-awareness

for more information or email ase@mrtconsultants.co.uk

All welcome!!

Why Mental health first aiders in the workplace?

We work in the mental health awareness arena. It's a huge and important area and so very relevant in our society - both for adults,children, privately, and in the workplace.

Unfortunately, it is not law yet to have a 'Mental Health First Aider' in the workplace but there is work going on behind the scenes to make this law within the next year (white paper in Parliament). We hope this will get through.

The fact is that there are more people in need of mental health support than plasters for wounds and other physical problems in the workplace. Despite this, there is still a lot of stigma around mental illness and many people are hesitant and ashamed of their experiences. The fear of being judged and sidelined is a top concern. Tackling this requires management action. They need to show that they care and support their employees by offering training and time off when needed. Above all, it is also important to be role models and transparent about their own experiences.

One of the biggest costs for companies is hiring new employees and training them. Statistics show that companies that have more understanding and training in mental health also have the highest retention rates. For every £1 employers spend on mental health interventions, they get £10 back in reduced absence, attendance and staff turnover.

The workplace is full of different people and different needs. Knowing how to support someone when they are feeling mentally unwell can be difficult. What works for one person may not work for another.

Training Mental Health First Aiders is a big step towards creating an inclusive and open workplace. These individuals will have a greater awareness of what mental illness means and how to be supportiive colleagues and fellow human beings.

There is a lot to learn, such as how to understand the signs that someone is unwell and how to talk to someone without appearing nosy and intrusive.

Listening is an art in itself. Most of us want to come up with solutions and remedy situations. The art of listening requires practise and awareness of ourselves and how we react in situations. Being able to hold back and actively listen can be hard because we just want to help.

However, research shows that a person who feels seen and heard, not forced to talk or told what to do, is much more likely to recover from a difficult period. The Samaritans are an organisation that demonstrates this time and time again.

MRT Consultants are here to help and train staff. Please get in touch for a chat.

Being vulnerable about mental ill health

How do we dare to be open and accepting of others and our own mental health issues? What does it take to feel comfortable with someone at work or privately?

The fear of being judged is very real. Am I being looked at - or treated differently? Do they trust me to do my job properly? Do they think I will be signed off work often?

This is all part of the change with work and company culture within an organisation. When acceptance starts at the top, there is more likelihood of acceptance further down the ladder.

So, how can this be done? What does your workplace do at the moment?

According to Mind, if you do decide to tell your employer about your mental health situation, think about:

• How and when to do it. It can be helpful to have a note from your doctor to help explain your situation.

• How much information you want to give. You don’t have to go into personal details, just focus on how your mental health problem impacts your job.

• Whom to share it with. For example, the human resources (HR) department may know your diagnosis, but they don't have to tell your supervisor or colleagues.

There are many people working towards enabling disclosure and openness with mental health in the same way we talk about other illnesses or disabilities.

It would be good to have an open discussion about all disabilities or setbacks and have understanding and empathy as the norm.

Particularly now that we are returning to physical workplaces after our Covid years, it is even more relevant and important to enable people to talk. Empower people to open up without shame and vulnerability. Research has shown that more people than ever are experiencing anxiety and depression so it is up to employers to create a welcoming and empathic workplace for all.

This is what MRT Consultants strives towards. We help companies support their staff to enable an open work culture for acceptance of differences and disabilities.

Get in touch to find out more about how we can support your workplace and employees.

Climate Change...responsibility of parents or politicians?

My son was doing a lot of research around the effects of climate change and the question of responsibility and it got me thinking about the parent vs politicians question. My interest was also sparked by the local elections recently and the question of, ‘Do I know if the politician I am voting for is active with policy and plans for climate change?’ I’m ashamed to say the answer is ‘I don’t know’.

We’ve often had situations with our parenting work when the parents deem the training and education of their children to be the sole responsibility of the school; and equally plenty of discussions with schools where they lament about the poor parenting responsibility and input with children about matters not typically included in the school curriculum. So when it comes to something like climate change - whose responsibility is it to ensure that our future generations know the extent of this problem and what to do about it?

Our generation Z (those aged 10 - 25) are our most tech savvy, hungry for knowledge segment of the population. They consume copious amounts of social media and online information and are as a collective, a very environmentally conscious group. Yet, in the survey my son took, only 10% of those surveyed in this age group, knew that there was something known as pressure groups that advocate for those who are able to vote, to vote for politicians who are active and engaged with changing legislation around climate change. I found this statistic shocking. It goes to show that the sensationalism and ‘quick flick’ behaviour of apps and online forums, is not getting the message across to this captive audience, that they have power with their votes to make real changes to policies that will actually really effect change.

So, does this then fall to the parents to bridge this gap? Do the parents themselves know? Although many parents do vote, the survey also found that most do not look at the actual policies a politician supports before voting for him/her. They don’t do a ‘deep dive’ to really know who they are voting for and what that politician will actively be promoting. Really interesting to consider. Particularly, when you think about how long it sometimes takes me (and others!) to choose the perfect avocado from the options available. Why have I not spent any time at all really investigating who I vote for?

I will say this, it’s started some very interesting conversations around our dinner table - and my hope is, that this blog today, will start some around yours.

What's going on in Europe?

Spring is here. Lighter days and nature is waking up properly. I love all seasons but spring is extra special in my world. The birds are singing and the various flowers are showing. Such a beautiful time of the year normally.

One thing weighing on my mind is, like for most of us, the war in Ukraine. I am Swedish and my whole family still lives there. It’s close to Russia in many ways and there have been threats made by Putin towards Sweden. I do not trust him at all. He is a loose cannon and unpredictable. It’s a worry for everyone in Europe.

How do we cope with this and the anxiety that comes with it? What do we do and how can we help others?

There are the practical ways of giving money and supplies to charities and organisations that support Ukraine. You can also offer a home to refugees. Here are a few of the charities:

https://www.unicef.org.uk/donate/donate-now-to-protect-children-in-ukraine

https://donate.redcross.org.uk/appeal/ukraine-crisis-appeal

https://www.support-savethechildren.org/

The tricky part is how we manage in our own minds. The 'what is in our control' versus 'what is outside of our control' comes to mind. When we are able to differentiate between those two and compartmentalise the fears, we can also live in a more relaxed way despite what is going on. In many ways it's similar to how we managed to live with Covid and the fears around that. 

So, work out what you need to do to help yourself.
For me it's:
- avoiding the news at night
- exercising regularly, even if it's just a 20 min walk
- sleeping as well as I possibly can
- eating healthily as much as possible, not all the time by any means. I do enjoy good food and drink...
- seeing family and friends and being grateful I have them
- appreciating the small things like flowers and nature in general

It might sound like mumbo jumbo but it definitely helps me.

Take care of yourself and your loved ones. 

Burnout versus stress

What is the difference between burnout and stress?

To put it simply, burnout has mainly to do with too much stress, related to work. It is physical, mental and emotional exhaustion caused by work over a prolonged period. It happens gradually and creeps up on a person. You feel like there is no more to give.

Stress on the other hand is knowing that you have too much pressure and demands but you still have the ability to see that once this is over, you will be ok. You have hope that it will pass.

Signs of burnout include:

• Feeling of hopelessness, helplessness and can’t see an end to it

• Self-doubt and low self-esteem

• Procrastination and loss of motivation

• Feeling exhausted and drained

• Inability to meet demands at work

• Frequent colds and illnesses

• Changes in both eating habits and sleep

• Mood changes, getting frustrated and taking it out on others

Many people are at risk of succumbing to burnout. The ones who work too much or don’t take enough time off, to a busy mum who also has to look after kids, the house and maybe ageing parents.

Some of these lifestyle issues can also cause burnout:

• Lack of sleep

• Not enough time off

• Being a perfectionist and doing everything yourself

• Lack of close relationships

• Having a pessimistic view of most things

There are many things we can do to avoid burnout.

The first and most important one is social contact and connection to other people. Reaching out and talking to others is immensely helpful. There is a reason why the expression ‘A problem shared, is a problem halved’ is still around. A good listener will have that effect when a person is heard and seen without judgment.

Look out for each other at work. At break time, grab a coffee and have a chat instead of solitude on your phone. Doesn’t have to be a serious chat, just general. Arrange an event after work if possible.

There is something called energy thieves in Swedish, and found all over the world! Be aware of people that drain you and avoid hanging around with them. Choose to spend time with positive people and I can guarantee you that they will lift you too.

Connect with others outside of work like choirs, hiking, cycling, cinema or crafts. Anything you enjoy which makes you feel good.

Having a balance in life is really important. Your social, family and work life all have their part in your life. Volunteering is another aspect that brings joy, what can you do?

So look out and be aware of changes in yourself before you ‘hit’ the wall. Prevention is key to having a healthy and balanced life.

We love working with companies to help with these issues. It is a common problem that has to be dealt with from the top down.

We are here to help.

Åse & Jenni

What works for you? Do you know?

There is so much information out there about mental ill health and what we should and shouldn’t do.

As with most things, knowledge and understanding is power and to know what works for us individually is the no 1 thing.

To be told by someone else what you need to do might not be the best thing. Trying things out and working out what actually does work is the way forward in my experience.

I have tried many things in the past, some successful, some not. The one thing I do know is that whatever I do, I must make it part of my routine and to become part of my everyday/week thing to do. I have to like it, feel the difference and look forward to doing it. It takes time for something to become a habit and we have to be prepared to continue for at least 21 days in order for change to happen.

When lockdown happened, I, and most other people, had to change what was my normal routine. Things I had tried in the past without success suddenly became lifesavers. As the lockdown and the changes to our lives continued for such a long time, these habits are now very much ingrained in me.

My husband calls me the spaniel as I am always eager to get out for a walk. Power walks and ‘normal’ walks are a big part of my life and I feel jittery and impatient if I don’t get out. The impact these walks, and nature in general, have on my mental health is immense.

I am absolutely certain that without them, I would have struggled throughout lockdown in particular. I have never seen myself as an anxious or nervy person, still don’t really. However, to get out in nature, with a friend or on my own, releases any of those feelings and I feel more capable of dealing with whatever life throws at me.

So, do you know what helps you keep stress under control, how to keep those low feelings at bay and what lifts your spirits?

Of course, we can’t always be upbeat and feel good but we can ensure we have a better balance in life by using coping skills.

Some us are very private and feel vulnerable sharing feelings with others so for those people it’s even more important to find what helps them.

This and so much more are things we work with at MRT Consultants.

We are here for any questions you might have!

New year, new connection?

So here we are, another year has passed and some of us are happy to see the back of 2021 while others leave what, for them, was a good year.

Our experiences and expectations vary just like our thoughts do around life in general.

What are your expectations for 2022? Have you set any goals? Made plans? Do you feel motivated?

The one thing I know is that plans and goals can be great and helpful to make, however, flexibility and resilience are really important to have. Life is rarely totally predictable and things don’t always go smoothly.

How good are you at handling life when it doesn’t go your way? Do you feel prepared and able to deal with whatever life throws at you?

Many of us feel like we can handle life and have had to deal with many ups and downs. We feel confident in our ability to cope and know which coping skills work for us. This can change at times depending on the hurdle so what can we do to help ourselves?

Looking back at life and the people I have encountered in my job as a counsellor and life coach, I have learnt that connection with others around us is key to helping people cope with difficulties and hardship. Alone is NOT strong despite the old saying. Having people around us who know us, love and support us can give us strength and the will to carry on.

The most important thing is to feel safe in the knowledge that someone has your back and you have someone else’s. To help and support someone is also a way to feel better and more confident so it’s a win win situation.

Now that is a great goal to have! Be there for your friends and family, reach out regularly and let them know you care and that you are there for them. A quick text message can make a huge difference to someone who is feeling low at that moment.

We wish you a healthy, prosperous and resilient 2022!

Workplace Wellbeing in 2022?

It’s that time of the year where the days get dark (far too) early, the temperature drops and for some, it’s a tough time of year. The weather plays its part as do the additional costs of Christmas and festive celebrations. What about your mental health and wellbeing over these long winter months?

There are many who are alone - or who feel intense loneliness at this time of the year. You may be fortunate enough to have employment but organisations are not exempt from the ‘winter worries’. For many, they are still recovering from the impact of Covid and many employees are still facing job insecurities or financial worries.

Mental Health First Aid England’s 2021 workplace interviews revealed that ‘47% of respondents said they were having more wellbeing check-ins from their workplace since before the pandemic’ - great news! But we can do more than just check-in!

Here are some tips from MHFA England that your organisation can implement:

Prioritise Wellbeing

Can your firm offer a ‘wellbeing day’ as well as annual leave to support employees? MHFA England lead by example, ‘Our wellbeing strategy includes two total office close down periods – a Wellbeing Week in the summer and one in the winter. The emphasis on ‘total’ is important as it means all employees really do engage in ‘proper downtime’.

Find out what your employees really think

Take stock of how your business has done for the past year with staff morale and wellbeing. Let your staff have a say in their workplace experience. Draw up an anonymous survey to really gauge how everyone is feeling and use the feedback to help you set your goals for the new year with your people, culture, and wellbeing projects.

Check-in regularly with your team members

Encourage everyone to check in with themselves on a regular basis by asking, ‘how do I feel today mentally and physically?’ and ‘am I using helpful coping strategies?’. MHFA England’s My Whole Self MOT is a great tool to use. This will help highlight loneliness, anxiety and stress and give the opportunity to catch this before it develops into more worrying issues.

Be emotionally aware of others

As the world opens up, some will rush back in - but others will feel apprehension and even anxiety with returning to social situations. Everyone is different, so find what works for you and be respectful of the choices that others’ make. ‘Forced fun’ is no fun for anyone!

New year, new you.

Put mental health and wellbeing at the heart of your strategy for 2022. No matter what else, it’s more important than ever that we look after ourselves and our teams.

It may mean changing priorities or simply listening to your employees more - but do something different in 2022!

We have lots to offer your organisation, from bespoke webinars or IRL sessions to accredited Mental Health First Aid training. Ask us for more information: ase@mrtconsultants.co.uk

We’d love to support you and your staff in 2022

Change happens when we make ourselves heard!

A colleague posted this really interesting article by HR NEWS. This is something we at MRT Consultants are equally passionate about and feel very encouraged to know that HR and those in senior positions are joining the call for mental health to be part of corporate policy and training in companies.

It does not have to be a big company at all, it applies and helps any sized organisation where people work and care.

Bosses urged to sent staff on ‘Mental Health first aid’ courses

A lawyer specialising in employment law has called on bosses to send staff on “mental health first aid courses” to help support colleagues in the workplace. 

Gillian McAteer, head of employment law and HR at Citation, offers around the clock support to companies looking to improve their work practices.

And now, Gillian is calling on bosses to improve mental health support in the workplace – by sending staff on first aid courses specialising in non-judgmental listening and spotting triggers of mental health problems.

Gillian said: “Mental health is one of the biggest issues facing the UK workforce today. Workplace stress coupled with the struggles of everyday life means around 59% of workers now suffer from a mental health condition, yet bosses often fail to recognise when employees are struggling.

“Mental health is a broad church and can range from depression, to borderline personality disorders, and eating problems, to loneliness, anxiety, paranoia, and stress. 

“Our Citation research shows the majority of the UK workforce is now living with a mental health condition of some sort, and bosses have a legal obligation to support and protect employees experiencing mental health problems.

“One thing we have done at Citation is recruit Mental Health First Aiders amongst the workforce. It’s the same, in theory, as a traditional First Aider, but the focus is on topics surrounding mental health.

“Whether someone is feeling stressed, anxious, or is struggling with a more chronic mental health issue, our Mental Health First Aiders are here to spot the signs and reach out to provide support and assistance, whether it’s offering a shoulder to cry on or guiding people to further support through the NHS or charities.”

Research from the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) shows a staggering 11 million days are lost at work every year because of workplace stress. By placing mental wellbeing at the top of the list of priorities, Gillian believes companies will ultimately benefit from having well-rested employees who feel listened to and valued by their bosses.

Gillian said: “It is imperative that we remove the stigma attached to mental health. Our research shows around 40% of people with a mental health condition do not feel comfortable talking to their manager about it. This needs to change.

“Speaking openly about mental health can be a lifeline, that’s why we’re keen to see workplaces across the country sending staff on courses that will help them spot the signs when their colleagues are struggling.

it was great to get this feedback from our Mental Health Champion Delivery last week:

‘A really useful and inspiring course that EVERYONE should go on! The instructors were both very warm, welcoming and open. I learnt loads of valuable tools and techniques, which I can now put in place both at home and at work. Thank you all.’ (Champion course, Ewell Castle School, November 2021)

Times are changing. Great to have people climbing aboard. If you’re thinking about training get in touch for information and support: ase@mrtconsultants.co.uk